January 2009
“I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own....”
– Clueless (via filmquotes) (via dreamsandbones)
Story of my life.
Chipotle Employee Just Gave Guy In Front Of You... →
notthatkindagay:
Since noticing the rice disparity moments ago, you have considered a number of tactics to rectify the situation, including hesitating slightly before advancing to the beans and meat in order to convey your concern; staring intently at the other burrito in hopes of drawing attention to its incongruent size; and simply asking the Chipotle employee for a little more rice.
“Our president’s approval rating is somewhere between pictures of baby pandas on...”
– Rachel Maddow (via vforvelociraptor)
“But does all this sexual imagery in the air mean that sex has been liberated—or...”
– Naomi Wolf on porn in NY Mag via debauchette (via think4yourself)
Kids today.
Co-worker's daughter: What does God look like?
Teacher: What do you think God looks like?
Co-worker's daughter: I don't know. I'll google him when I get home and look at the image search results.
"The Balls"
My 13-year-old brother is writing his memoirs. This is chapter 2:
It was a long time ago in elementary school when this happened, it was cleanup time and I was on block detail. I had my shirt turned up so I could fill it with blocks, along with my hands and various other orifices. I was all full when I decided instead of walking up to the toy bin; I would make the ultimate jump. I decided to make...
“Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several...”
– Jack Handey
Wall Street’s Socialist Jet-Setters - NYTimes.com →
notthatkindagay:
Bartiromo also asked Thain to explain, when jobs and salaries were being cut at his firm, how he could justify spending $1 million to renovate his office. As The Daily Beast and CNBC reported, big-ticket items included curtains for $28,000, a pair of chairs for $87,000, fabric for a “Roman Shade” for $11,000, Regency chairs for $24,000, six wall sconces for $2,700, a $13,000...
NonSociety Nincompoop Mary Rambin: Abortion Is... →
jgh:
BWAHAHAHAH NonSociety just got owned. Thank you, today, the schadenfreude holidays of all holidays!
Bravo!
“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely...”
– Woody Allen (via preduke)
“See you Monday. We’ll be talking about Freud and why he did enough cocaine to...”
– Sean Maguire, Good Will Hunting (via simko)
Boyfriend: You look like a goat.
Me: Umm, what?
Boyfriend: In a good way!
“I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all...”
– John Burroughs (via devincastro) (via astonishing)
“Music is my religion. While some people find solace, joy, and peace in a church,...”
– My friend Natalie
“If you’re quiet, you’re not living. You’ve got to be noisy and colorful and...”
– Mel Brooks (via hrrrthrrr) (via jessperation) (via preduke)
“More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other...”
– Harvey Milk (via havent-got-a-prayer) (via dare) (via expose) (via capriquarius)