Story of my life.
- Co-worker's daughter: What does God look like?
- Teacher: What do you think God looks like?
- Co-worker's daughter: I don't know. I'll google him when I get home and look at the image search results.
My 13-year-old brother is writing his memoirs. This is chapter 2:
It was a long time ago in elementary school when this happened, it was cleanup time and I was on block detail. I had my shirt turned up so I could fill it with blocks, along with my hands and various other orifices. I was all full when I decided instead of walking up to the toy bin; I would make the ultimate jump. I decided to make a jump that would not only shake the classroom, but completely RUIN my day. I shot off the floor what felt like miles, but was more like 3 inches, and landed with a sickening thud and ripping noise at the block bin. I had landed so that my legs were bent down far and my knees were stuck out, and boy was it a bad position for ripping your pants. But, for those of you who have ripped your pants before and think it’s a normal thing that happens, and that its victim is not warranted any pity, you’re wrong. I decided that today I didn’t need boxers under my jeans and I had gone to school with out them.
Now, you are all thinking that there is a minor problem here. You all think I just ripped my pants in the back don’t you? Well, my butt wasn’t showing but certain “other” areas were. I had a full on tear up the front of my pants and everything was exposed. Needless to say, I quickly stood up and deposited my blocks. After running to my desk I had to think of what to do. I would have just told the teacher and gotten a new pair or something, but a certain brother told me that if you ripped your pants you got ugly tight purple ones, and they made you finish school in them. I had to go the entire day at school with my balls hanging out of my pants just because of my brother. It wasn’t the best day.