January 2010
December 2009
text messages
Me: Someone carved a swastika into the cement in my neighborhood.
Mom: Are you sure it isn't a spider?
“Back when Paris was at her height of fame and people were just obsessed with...”
– rashida jones on paris hilton (via folkinz) (via apsies)
Sarah: Wait, we're having trouble deciding which is worse--working at JC Penney or CLEANING INSIDE OF A COW?
Carolyn: Have you ever been to JC Penney?
What English Sounds Like To Foreigners →
stupiditykills:unicornology:semisetadrift:salonika:capucha
negative consequences of sex on degrassi
synecdoche:
backwoods bhandari: hpv scare johnny dimarco: cock wart darcy: date rape, fake teacher rape, chlamydia, suicide attempt jay: gonorrhea *mia: teen mom-ery, high school is like so totally hard with a kid ashley: poor self esteem due to trying to fuck an impotent cripple anya: LARPing. craig: knocks bitch up, magically gets bipolar disorder connor: aspergers (jk he’s never getting laid)...
“I can’t join the Special Forces because I could never give up lattes....”
– Nick
“The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.”
– Mark Twain
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”
– Douglas Adams
(via kari-shma) (via quote-book)
Me: Devin is totally pulling an Emilio Estevez in Mighty Ducks II.
Tona: What do you mean?
Me: Recall the "Mr. Big Stuff" photo shoot scene?
Tona: Uh, yeah, more clearly than anything else in my life.
Me: So Devin just testified at a Washington County Land Use meeting, which is totally cool and I called afterwards to congratulate him, but he was too busy with his legions of fans to talk to me, and people were cheering in the background and then he yells "Let's do lunch" into the phone and hangs up.
Tona: That is some Gordon Bombay bullshit, right there.
