There needs to be a countdown clock for muffin decisions at Starbucks.– Patton Oswalt
If at first you don’t succeed, redefine what you did as success.– Stephen Colbert (via thedailywhat) (via david) (via quote-book) (via six-klicks-east) (via flickflickflicker) (via sierralimamike)
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. Either that or die of a triple...– Sarah Von Bargen
lemonlove: Dizzy Daisy on Vimeo (via Vimeo) This is Daisy, one of the dogs I house-sat for 2 weeks ago. She is a sweetheart, and also completely blind and mostly deaf. She generally spins more when you say her name, so I guess she can hear a little bit.
aleck: darrenrobinson: I was not aware the latter half of this was humanly possible. apparently the chariots of fire musis wa sa little too expensive, so they got the german knock-off version. still, wtf. this is teutonic precision at its finest
How to squander your life
katoleary: schmemily: nonotyou: Consider tranquility boredom Consider things as wealth Consider attention to be love Consider guilt philanthropy Seek to be constantly entertained Look at things only once Spend more time considering the motives of others than noticing the consequences of your own choices Indulge anger Demand an ever changing environment, so that you never have to deepen your...
Naps are like time travel. You wake up and all your problems are in the past.– Gwyn
Heathens and a Hot Dish
Me: I'm kind of obsessed with Lutherans.
Dana: Yeah, Lutherans are great because they kind of do the guilt thing, but they mostly just do casserole.
If you’re sweating while you’re bowling, you’re out of shape. If you’re out of...– JIM GAFFIGAN, only slightly wrong. (via inothernews)
where responsibility lies →
vindicatedcommunications: katoleary: abbyjean: notemily: Yesterday while walking through Mudchute Park [in London] on my way to Asda I was displeased to see the following posted around the various entrances to the woodland, on laminated bits of A4 (loosely paraphrased). ‘Regrettably, due to a number of recent attacks it is no longer advisable for women to walk alone through the Valley. The...
Boston Market is like Thanksgiving…but slimy.– My friend Gwyn