-crashandburn: Me when Celine Dion’s “Happy Birthday” commercial comes on: Me when someone other than Celine’s “Happy Birthday” commercial comes on:
Me: I had a dream you came over in the middle of the night and ate all my bunny grahams and I woke up SO mad at you.
Luke: I'm gonna make that dream a reality.
Me: Oh dear god.
Luke: I didn't even know bunny grahams existed. I only knew about the teddy grahams. But I will make all the animal grahams extinct in your household.
I’m gonna join the mile high club with a picture of Celine Dion while...– Nelson
Teri: A thumb is not a finger.
Me: What is it, then?
Teri: It's a thumb.
Nick: If I could be gay for anyone I would be gay for--
Me: Please don't say Tom Bergeron.
I think today’s lesson is to use proper grammar and don’t be a cock.– Nelson
I never think that people die. They just go to department stores.– Andy Warhol (via madeincolombia)
Devin: I have to find a picture online.
Me: If it's Ryan Stiles' penis, just give it up, cuz I searched that yesterday and there's nothing.
I spent three days a week for 10 years educating myself in the public library,...– Ray Bradbury
lemonlove:thelandofhyrule: Katy Perry’s Firework...
Me: I'm in bed eating canned chili and watching Jersey Shore.
Tona: That's the only way anyone has ever watched Jersey Shore.