Me: Is scurvy on trend this season?
Julie: I think so. I've been looking to bring consumption back.
Me: Wanna open a sandwich shop called "Tinker Tailor Soldier Sub"?
Me: I'm not fucking joking.
Devin: Me neither!
You know what I love? Cutting people out of my life who aren’t awesome.– Nick
We need a commander in chief who knows the truth about this great country. That...– Stephen Colbert
Me: Why do you love me?
Nick: Because you're like Andre the Giant but small.
Nature, nurture heaven and home Sum of all, and by them, driven To conquer...– The Humbling River
I want to teleport into the world where the plot to the “Everybody”...– Brittney
Me: We're having pizza for dinner.
Molly: I'll bring bread and cheese.
Only hang around people that are positive and make you feel good. Anybody who...– Amy Poehler (via stupidhandshakeything)