3rd
I feel semi pathetic about this
Sexuality is such a strange thing, isn’t it? I mean, lately I’ve just been thinking about how all it is is MATING and making babies and here we have all sorts of songs and shit (like anything by the Pussycat dolls “Loosen up my buttons babe… but you keep frontin’) just talking about mating (which isn’t sexy, is it?) and that’s such a huge focus on our culture.
But like, why then could we be sexually attracted to the same sex? I’m not questioning homosexuality or condemning it, if anything I’m trying to figure myself out, since I have a ridiculous butterflies-in-my-stomach crush on a woman I know, who is really awesome, and I’m terrified that well, maybe I like women, but what if I don’t and I hurt her feelings really bad by exploring that?
I mean, it’s a chance I could take and stuff but I don’t know if I really want it that bad. And then it all comes out of a biological desire to mate, and yet here I am, semi-attracted to someone I could never biologically have children with, and even then, that’s not my priority.
And then I don’t really know if there’s anything to it, I’m just curious and uncertain and afraid. I’m secure in my heterosexuality, I’m just wondering if maybe I’m homosexual as well.
And then I have friends who describe me as omnisexual. (“She swings every which way!”) It’s one of those things where I can definetly appreciate the beauty and curves of the female body, and I can dig chicks, but I don’t know if I can go past that. I’m too afraid to try.
Is there anyone else who’s gone through this?
Should I be too afraid to try?
I think we’re here to live and love and learn, not just to mate, and you should never be afraid to do what will make you happy. Or, maybe, you should always do the things you are afraid of, because those are the things that will make you happy.
And this isn’t semi-pathetic in the least! :)
